A "quick" update that probably won't be so quick...

Hello Everyone! I'm not even sure if anyone's reading this since I've been home from school but I'll keep on posting...

So this post is going to be, well, honest. I'm always honest and open with you all when I post but I feel I need to be particularly open this time... Overall, things have been amazing since I've been home. Though it has definitely taken me some time to find my nitch again, and to create a proper flow to my life, I feel much more settled this week. Well, sort of. See, there are AMAZING things happening here, God has been opening so many doors and giving me so much favor, the Horizon Outreach team is setting out on it's first adventure this Saturday, I have more people coming to my prophetic arts class than I could have EVER imagined, and so many other blessings YET inside, honestly I'm in a really rough place. Ah, it feels so straining to be in such a contradictory state! On the one hand, I am bursting with gratitude and praise to the Lord for all He's bringing forth, and on the other, I feel like I've falling SO short in what He has called and asked me to do... Some of the difficulty is to be expected when adjusting from a 24/7 revival culture immersion to "normal" life, and I know that some of the static is also the attempts of the enemy to bring confusion and whatnot. But those things are still no excuse for me to release myself from the responsibility of what has been entrusted to me. It really hit me one day last week... that before I came to Bethel and heard and experienced and received all that I did this year, living the way I was living was perfectly acceptable. But because of this year, in the place I stand now, I am responsible for the revelation that I have received. It has been given to me to steward, to protect, and to pour out in blessing and power and honor everywhere I go. So with all of that comes such an urgency... Can you feel it? Though it's heavy, and even painful at times, I want that urgency to always be present in me. It is a mandate that I am honored and overjoyed to bear! And yet, there must be a balance between that weighty responsibility and living without undue expectations and performance-oriented condemnation hanging over my head! I'm feeling the pressure but I'm having difficulty discerning what pressure and conviction is from the Lord, and what is confusion and condemnation from the enemy. Is any of this making sense? It wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't because it hardly makes sense in my head :)...

Anyway, all of that ramble to say that, life is amazing and SO blessed and yet I feel like I'm swimming upstream in alot of ways. It certainly hasn't been easy. But in the midst of it all, I've just been going back to the Word of the Lord over my life, rereading my prophetic words, returning to Him and asking Him to tell me again who HE says I am and what I've been called and empowered to do. And He is so faithful and good to answer...

So there you go! All I can say is please, please pray for me... Honestly, humbly, that's all I can ask. Pray that the Lord will continue His work in me and bring it to the fullness of it's completion, that I would become ever more like Jesus in all I do and think and say, and that the lies and distractions of the enemy would be silenced.

Thank you so much for your love and support, it means SO much to me!

Love and blessings,

Melissa